Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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