don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I have tasted many bathrooms
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
