So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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