Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
