spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
