i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize