I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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