It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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