i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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