So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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