Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
