like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
