Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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