im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
