remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I'm bleeding and have questions
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
