The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
