yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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