I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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