How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
