Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
