But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
