Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
