Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
