I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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