The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
