i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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