Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
