I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
