is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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