That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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