How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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