Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
