lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
foreskin is a definite game changer
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
