My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
