I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
