i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
