More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
