My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
