Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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