What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
