Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
