I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
i came on her dog
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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