better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize