i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
