Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
