at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize