why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize