People in love make me want to vomit
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
