I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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