Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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