It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
