I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
