what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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