perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize