"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
