no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
someone owes me an orgasm
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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