I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
