WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
