After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
