Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
