piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
